Red light

I stayed late at work. It's a Tuesday and there was an event so I stayed. When I left I had a text to go to Esssex, a bar on my way home. I went. On my way I passed the corner of Delaware and Utica street. There were police blocking off the intersection but being on bike I took the curb to the near by hotel parking lot and proceeded to the Deleware sidewalk. When I looked towards the intersection I could see a motorcycle on its side on the road. I've ridden that intersection many times and know that the pavement running the length of Deleware buckles at that intersection and that if you're planning on bisecting there, you'd better slow your ass down, even on bicycle. Seeing the motorcycle lying there though, I could already imagine the worst.

I went to Essex. Long enough to get drunk. Eventually I left but when I made it to my house I decided I was not ready to sleep yet and that I really needed to climb something. I continued riding my bike towards Delware and decided to head to the city. I once again came upon the Deleware and Utica intersection which was still blocked off, confirming my earlier suspicions. I hopped the curb and headed west on Ferry. There was a smell I was unfamiliar with but could somehow identify. A chemical smell, something I'd akin to cleaning products. Like being in a hospital.

There was a roof along Utica that peaked and although I normally climb flat roofs, I felt the need to try this one. While not the easiest climb, I did eventually get onto the roof, where I sat at its peak for a long time. While I was there I watched five cars pass by and wondered if they could see me, coming to the conclusion that, even if they could, no one would look at the roof of a building at 2 am anyway. Also during my time there I began to think about why it is that I make music. I remember distinctly that while mastering the last album Jeff was asking me various questions about how I wanted it to sound and I told him I wanted it to be nonabrasive. I hadn't prepared for him to ask me those questions and when he did, that's what came out.

I'm often called a negative nelly and/or a pessimist. I understand this. I can easily see the downside of situations. It is what I've experienced and how I view the world. It has also effected what I've tried to put back into the world.

Eventually I decided to leave the roof and ride back home. Crossing the Deleware/Utica intersection again, which was now open, all but one police car had left the scene. The smell still penetrated the air and now there was a sole police car; headlights at the motorcycle on its side, tail light still on. I waited at the red light. No cars came. I looked at the tail light on the motorcycle, and back at the red light above me an decided it was better to make a left on red in front of a preoccupied police officer than to stay. The drying puddles on the road smelled of cleaners and disinfectants and I nodded at the officer in the car acknowledging that maybe all he wanted, maybe all I ever wanted, was a breath of fresh air.